as i gaze at the full moon,shining yellow tonight,i am alone ,all my brothers have girlfriends or wife to help them deal with this,&,like always,its late at night when i am all alone lyeing in bed-a huge bed with no one but myself ,making it feel all the more blatent-being single has had its good points mind...still,nothing cam replace the warm touch of a female that cares for you,or holding her hand when your walking watching the sun set slowly.I am off to SSM this friday as theres to be a family meeting with the Dr. at 130 on sat.Jehova GOD grant be the perserverence to overcome,in Jesus Christ's name i pray ,Amen!!!PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS !~!~TODAY HAS BEEN ROUGH SO I STAYED INSIDE ALL DAY-NERVES R NOT GOOD=STRESS CAN HAVE A NEG AFFECT ON HEALTH & IMMUNE SYSTEMS,SO I AM TRYING NOT TO STRESS OUT TOO MUCH BUT WHAT CAN I SAY MY MOM IS SLOWLY DYEING IN SSM HOSP. & WE SHOULD GET THERE ASAP AND TO MAKE THINGS EVEN WORSE I LOST MY CAM-CORDER THAT HAS MOM SAYING SHE LOVES GARY,RON,STEVE,MIKE,JOEY, & THIS WILL BE VALUABLE TO THE BOYS! i HOPE SOMEONE AT THE HOSP IS HONEST ENOUGH TO TURN IT OVER.A GUARD IS CHECKIN IT OUT NOW BUT I HAVE A SINKING FEELING THAT A;LL OS LOST NOT ONLY WITH THE CAM-C0RDER BUT MY MOM AS WELL.DEPRESSION IS TRYING TO BRING ME DOWN BIGTIME & I TRY TURNING THE TV ONTO COMEDY OR LEARNING CHANNEL.BRO SAYS MOM SMILES WHEN SOMEONE WALKS INTO THE ROOM,SO ,SHE STILL CAN DO A FEW THINGS,ALTHOUGH NOT MUCH AND SO IF GOD IS WITH FOLKS THAT R DOWN & DEPRESSED AND PEOPLES CLOSE TO DEATH,THEN SURELY THOU ART WITH ME & MY FAMILY,WE ALL PLACE OUR TRUST ON THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY,CREATOR OS THE HEAVENS & THE EARTHS,AND THE HELLS AS WELL,RULAR OF THE UNIVERSES KNOWN & UNKNOWNS,& HIS SON ,JESUS THE CHRIST,MAN'S LORD & SAVIOUR,GIVE ME PERSERVERENCE TO OVERCOME THIS TIME OF TROUBLES,THIS END TIMES.MAY GOD'S WILL BE DONE & NOT MAN'S WILL,IN JESUS THE CHRIST;S NAME I PRAY TODAY,THURSDAY,FEB 21 2008 7:50 PMshe knows we love her,but she is worried about me i think-as i am hiv+ i dont have anyone like the rest of the boys do.And its at night,when its the hardest,as i have no one to hold me or someone that i could hold so close & so tight,i dont think i would ever let them go again!!!loljk!~but i digress...this is a tough time for me-toughest i have had to face yet & i am failing i think.I cannot help it & the tears seems to come & go of their own violition,as i am now unable to control them anymore....i thought the so many deaths of close loved ones woulda prepared me for this life altering event but nay,it didst not & has had the effect as a hammer striking my chest full,leaving me gasping for air-that will not come-even though i am now blue in colour and everything is starting to close in...i am falling...splash!!!time to wake up eh folks!!!life sucks & then life is great-u have to catch it when its in the middle to enjoy it.PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS & JESUS SAVES SO BELIEVE & BE SAVED EH FOLKS~!~!
Posted by james(joey)gough
Posted by james(joey)gough
